How do you distinguish between sex and love?

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Answered by: Adrianna Irene, An Expert in the Sexuality for Teenagers Category
Sex and Love are difficult to separate from each other. When someone is trying to distinguish between love and sex, the first step is usually to look at the other person and ask yourself a few questions. The first one being, does this person have the type of personality I want to spend my life with? Or, have I ever told myself that, them doing something is ok because they are great at sex? Or alternately, do I want to introduce this person to my family and friends and What would they think of this person? Or, will this person hold me back from reaching my goals in life?These questions require serious thought, rather than simply thinking well the correct answer is this so that is how I think. It is important to remember that, though it may seem like your world revolves around that person, or that person is the best you can get or perhaps that person makes you happy. With all of these you must ask yourself, is it the person that is making me happy or just the sex with that person?

Let me tell you a story, and no its not going to be a, this person ruined her life because she had sex at a young age, story. A girl in high school entered the sex scene early in her life, at about 14. Her first time was amazing and she quickly became obsessed with sex. Her schooling deteriorated and she lost hope in school. To cope with this she decided she wanted to become a mom instead of graduating. She had the child and the father left. She quickly realized that being a single mom with no high school diploma, it was nearly impossible to make ends meet, especially when her home was falling apart and she had no money to feed herself, clothe her child or fix her home. Instead of giving up, she decided to do something, she got her GED and got a job, but she still hasn’t found a good man. She still loves sex, that didn’t go away. However, she keeps basing her relationships on the quality of sex she gets from her boyfriends rather than the quality of the person. After the sex got old, she would realize that the boyfriend wasn't a good person and she would break up with him. Because she failed to look past sex in her relationships, she felt she would never find the right man.

I have told you all this because I want to drive home the point that having sex isn’t going to ruin your life, but it is important to know the difference between sex and love so you can find, not just someone who is good in bed, but also someone who is good in your heart.

To love someone means you are willing to make compromises with them, you can talk to them, you can do things with them, including but not limited to sex. Love is a feeling, sex is a desire, love is serenity sex is passion. Good relationships often have both, lasting relationships always put love before sex, feeling before desire, serenity before passion, but never disregard the passion, never forget about it, instead lace it into the relationship. Sex should be an accentuating thread rather than the main design.

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