How do I discipline my Teen fairly?

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Answered by: Lea, An Expert in the Parenting Teenagers Category
The hardest part a parent has to endure when it comes to parenting a Teenager, is how do I discipline my teen fairly? Some parents think, if I discipline them too hard or too much, they might rebel against my discipline. If I am too lenient, they might not learn a solid lesson from the discipline. I, myself, have a teenager, and five more children to hit their teen years behind her. There is no hidden secret, and there is no perfectly correct way to discipline a teen, but there are some good things to consider while you discipline your teen. Once you come to the point where your teenager must face a consequence for their actions, keep in mind this saying: "The Punishment must fit the Crime." While using that method, if your teenager decides to refuse to do their chores one day, a fair discipline could be doubling up their chores the next day. A second offense to the "crime" could result in a harsher punishment. What if your teen decides to lie about needing to stay after school to study, and you find out it was to hang out with friends. While yes, the crime is lying, fitting the "punishment to the crime" I would suggest suspending their option for staying after school for a while. Explain to your teenager that the only way they can stay after school to actually study or catch up on school work, you would require a letter from their teacher with a number to reach them at. This way you can speak to their teacher and, in most cases, their teacher would be more than willing to work with you. My teenager decided to confess a few things that she had been holding in and lying about, but seemed to feel better once she had gotten them off her chest. We wanted to strip her of everything, and try putting a bubble around her, but in the end we knew that would not work or benefit any of us at all. We used the "crime must fit the punishment" technique, and so far we have seen positive results. When you ask yourself, how can I discipline my teen fairly, you have to also keep in mind how can we get through this together. Always make sure your teenager knows that you love them and care for them and that is why you have to discipline them. We are their Parent, not their Friend so we have to lead them in the best direction. There is no right direction or correct direction, there is the best direction to help them build an understanding on how to do for themselves once they are out on their own.

While you are applying discipline to the incorrect actions your teenager committed and not stripping them of everything, be sure to maintain consistency. Without consistency, it would lead us to lacking in structure. Teenagers usually rebel when we strip them of every privilege earned instead of only taking away privileges they took advantage of. Our teenagers could also rebel as a way to push buttons or test us to see how strong we will hold to the discipline we set forth for them. In a way, while we discipline our teenagers we also have to maintain our own discipline within ourselves to keep to our word so they know we mean business.

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